Openness To Healing Relationships

So many times people will find themselves in a relationship that used to be good, loving, and strong.  But somehow, somewhere, things changed.  Now they want to get that loving relationship back.  The first thing is making sure there is an openness to healing relationships. 

Most relationships that have broken down have done so over a period of time and usually because of hurts, many of which have been small.  These hurts have accumulated over a period of time, though, and now theyve taken on a life of their own. Over time we tend to shut ourselves off from our partner because we dont want to be hurt anymore.  Once that happens you will need to make sure you can open up again and attempt to heal the relationship.   Before you decide that you are going to fix your broken relationship you have to make sure that you are willing to open yourself up to the possibility of more hurt.

And, its not just about you either.  Is your partner willing to open up and work on the relationship?  Many times one partner is more interested in salvaging the relationship than another.  If thats the case and your partner has made it clear, either by what theyve said or their overall attitude, that they have no interest in working very hard to save the relationship, you might as well call it quits. You cant do it all yourself and you cant force your partner to try.

If, on the other hand, you both agree that you will try to work on the relationship the first thing youll both need to do is look at yourselves.  You need to look at yourself and your partner needs to look at themselves. You are trying to honestly figure out what part youve played in the breakdown of the relationship and whether or not you will be committed to making the changes necessary to fix it.  Again, both of you have to admit their part in the break down of the relationship as well as be willing to try to change their behavior.
After all that the next thing you will both need to do is talk to each other.  This doesnt mean yelling, intimidating, or getting mad.  It means and open, adult discussion about how you are feeling.  You each have to be able to honestly speak your mind and explain what you think has happened, how you think it can be fixed, what you are willing to do to help fix it, and how you are feeling overall.

This step is vitally important and potentially very dangerous.  This is the part where someone could get hurt feelings and that could lead to a big blowout.  In order for this to work, its crucial that you both give the other person time to talk, and not get mad or defensive about what they have to say.

If you are sure you and your partner really have an openness to healing relationships, and youre wiling to work on the steps Ive listed here than the two of you will have a real shot at getting back to a place in your relationship where you can be happy to be together, and happy to be back to normal.

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Secret Relationships Can They Work

Secret relationships sound exciting and adventurous, don’t they? Just having a secret is provocative, but when there’s romance and sex involved that makes the secret even juicier. Do you like know why secret relationships have such a big appeal, and that people wonder why you’re smiling all the time?

Secret relationships aren’t uncommon. But you should also realize that they don’t always work. In fact, having a relationship that’s a secret can put a huge strain on you as a couple. The odds of this type of relationship only lasting a short time are pretty high.

It can be more difficult than you think to go very long without talking about the relationship. If it weren’t secret, you would probably mention your partner throughout the day in casual conversation. Even just mentioning something you saw together or talked about would be a natural thing to do.

But in secret relationships, you have to keep yourself from doing that. You might find it on the tip of your tongue to talk about your partner and have to catch yourself all the time. Having to censor yourself several times a day can be quite a source of stress.

Add to that your partner’s feelings about having to do the same thing. Between the two of you, that can add up to a lot of tension.

There’s also the worry about being seen together. People in hush-hush relationships don’t have the luxury of going out go a great restaurant for dinner. They can’t go see the latest movie together, or walk down the road holding hands.

There are exceptions to this. If you’re keeping the relationship secret because you’re good friends and you don’t want people to know it’s become more, you can still be seen together. But you’ll have to give only appearance of friendship around others.

Some relationships are kept secret for that very reason. Friends have become more than that but dot’ want to “jinx” the relationship. Or they decide that their group of friends might not understand. And they think maybe keeping it a secret is a good idea in case things don’t work out. Then the friends would never have to know.

Many coworkers who start dating keep the secret for the same reason. Things would just be easier at work if other people didn’t know, both while it’s happening and in case it ends. And with work situations, such dating might be discouraged making the secret necessary.

But by keeping it a secret for those reasons, it’s as if you’re saying that it’s probably not going to work out. At least, you’re showing that you have serious doubts about it. How healthy does it seem to be in a relationship that you must believe won’t last, so much so that you’re keeping it a secret?

While the relationship might be thrilling at first and seem like an adventure, the best way to have secret relationships is with the understanding that they’ll only be secret for a short time.

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Long Distance Relationship Advice

Maintaining a healthy long distance relationship can be a challenge.  It takes two mature people who are able to communicate in order to make it work.  It will also take some sound long distance relationship advice, and thats where I come in.
In this article Ive outlined some of the things that you can do to make your relationship not only survive, but thrive.  Ive also compiled a few of the most common problems couples face and how to avoid falling into the same traps in your relationship. 
One of the first things you and your partner need to do to ensure the continued strength of your relationship is to make sure you are both on the same page.  Make sure you agree on whether or not you have an exclusive relationship. If one partner thinks its ok to date while you are apart and the other one is staying monogamous, the relationship is doomed from the start.
For the most part, a couple wont even contemplate a monogamous long distance relationship unless both parties feel the relationship has the potential to be  a long term one.  There is no sense making this type of commitment unless you both feel that the other person might be the one. 
Another thing you and your partner need to do is make sure you have good communication skills.  When you are far away from each other for extended periods of time, and you cant have physical contact, you will have to rely solely on your communication skills to continue to build your relationship.
That is why long distance relationships, when they last, are some of the best relationships around.  The couple has to learn to communicate effectively to make it work, and they dont get distracted by all the physical attraction. They are able to connect on a deeper level which can often lead to a more fulfilling relationship.
If you are an insecure person, though most people wont admit it if they are, you should avoid getting involved in a long distance relationship.  Being in this type of relationship requires a great amount of trust, typically people who are insecure see a threat everywhere, even where there isnt one. 
If you and your partner are overly suspicious, not only will your relationship be a constant battle, it will also be unlikely to work.  No good relationship can be based on suspicion and insecurities. 
You and your partner also need to be careful of the temptation to have a fling with someone while away from your partner.  Unless you both agree in advance that some extracurricular activity is ok (and if thats the case why bother pursuing a long distance relationship in the first place) than you should stay faithful to your partner.
If you want to maintain your long distance relationship you have to know ahead of time that it will be a challenge and you and your partner both have to be committed to making it work, but if you follow my  long distance relationship advice you and your partner have a real shot of having a great, long term loving relationship.

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The Top 50 Albums of 2013 Expansion Pack

THIS WHOLE ARTICLE RELATES TO MY TOP 50 ALBUMS BLOG
PROBABLY READ THAT FIRST I RECKON

Chapter 1:
My Super Secret Process Of Album Listening

As fascinating as this won’t be, I’ve been doing this whole “50 Albums Of The Year” thang for, like, a million years now (read: four), and I feel like I have got pretty good at it, if I do say so myself. My process of listening to and reviewing music has developed into such a streamlined ordeal, that it is a joy rather than a chore to experience (which wasn’t always the case before, believe you me you me). Which is why I feel like I am in a good position to share with you how I (in 2013) reached some sort of an apex of chewing, swallowing and spitting out as much music as any one person could possibly survive on, granting each release the attention it needed and reaching the end with a nice neat little package of the 50 best, all suited up, reviewed and ready to force feed to you like the pathetic baby bird you are. This, my friends, is my super secret process of listening to albums, in seven easy steps.

(1) I started right away, putting my ear to the musical ground the moment January hit 12:00AM. Finding music to listen to has never been a problem, and I would always discover something by paying extra attention to Metacritic, Rate Your Music, Pitchfork’s best new music (shock!), and of course, my friends’ suggestions. There were other spices in the mix too (following the twitter accounts of NME or the Guardian Music or Stereogum, for example) but what’s important is that my list of Must Listens grew faster than I could pick away from, and as discouraging as that concept is, it was imperative to shoving my mind full of tunes. And shoving, I did! My goal was to hear between 12-16 new releases a week, which isn’t too difficult when you break it down to a day-by-day-play basis.

(2) Now here is a real shiny slice of advice for you: whilst listening to each and every single one of these albums, I took notes. This was important because it meant that after each said experience, I had a little disjointed review detailing my journey. Such a process was invaluable to the eventual top 50, because when it came time to write their more detailed reviews, most of it was already there. But even above that, by taking notes on every album helps you remember what you thought, as it can be quite hard to recall how an exact song goes, but much easier to recall what you wrote down about it. Finally, to keep the important ones tickling my mind, I saved every 2013 song I loved into a Spotify playlist which I would also listen to on a daily basis, keeping my memory fresh. Oh, you want to hear that playlist? Here you go (sort by Date Added to mainly surface this year).

(3) As everyone knows, one simply cannot judge an album by one listen. That’s why I played by the “third time lucky/three strikes you out” rule, ensuring each album got three chances to convince me, all the while taking notes on each listen. Now, some may argue that this is not enough listens either, but I don’t care what people say, because I was on a mission that didn’t include them. Furthermore, while I’ll admit certain albums were thrown aside after LESS than three listens, others were listened to MORE than three times, because I could tell I was nearly there but not quite there yet. Add that up with the countless individual songs saved into the aforementioned playlist, as well as the albums which made the finals who received even more listens, and I figure I had a pretty decent grasp on the whole thing.

(4) Great, so after a few weeks I already had quite a large amount of entries. I would organise these albums by month, and then within each month, order them from best to worst. Furthermore, I would colour code them: Grey = Never Listen Again (I don’t care for it); Light Purple = Reserved (wouldn’t be too upset if it made the final list); and Dark Purple = Definite (it passed the audition and would inevitably make the final list).

(5) After a few months of utilising this method, it became obvious that the reserves meant nothing as there were more than enough Definites to meet the top 50 quota. But then, after another few months, it became obvious that I had far too many Definites too and would have to let some of them go. This is when I introduced the Red colour code = Imperative. That’s the albums we see in the main article. Now, I can’t express this enough, do not start the year with Imperatives in mind. I would only label an album Imperative a few months AFTER I had listened to it three times, because while some albums were incredible whilst I was in the middle of them, I found that after a while, I couldn’t even remember what they sounded like. You need a cooling off period to really know what an album is made of. Which is why some technically superior albums didn’t get selected for my list. It was the ones which truly impacted my mind which made the final cut, for better or worse.

(6) And then round about July, I started to panic. I had far too many albums coming in at such a rate that by the time the end of 2013 approached, I would not have enough time to listen to all of them three times. I solved this by changing my daily approach, where for every two new albums I listened to, I would make sure I listened to a further three albums for their third time. Which basically meant: for every two shoved into the system, three would get shoved out. So each day that passed, there was one less album I had to worry about, and by adding that up over the course of six months, you can see how I effortlessly rounded everything up nicely, each release still receiving the attention they deserved.

(7) That said, my list of “Must Listen To” albums still grew faster than I could keep up with, and so around October I set up a clever spreadsheet to keep track of these releases. Within said spreadsheet, I set up the formula “=SUM(A2*20+B2)/2”. A2 was any given album’s Rate Your Music score (a rating set by general users like you and me) out of 5, times by 20 to give it a percentage. This number would be added to B2, which was the same album’s Metacritic score (a rating set by professional critics) and then halving the sum of the two, once again giving us an overall percentage based on the combination of general public and qualified expert opinions. Ordering this spreadsheet in descending order provided me with all the information I needed as to which releases I had to listen to, and which ones were decidedly less important.

By using this system I managed to get through 458 albums by the end of it all, which beat last year’s 234 by a substantial amount; obliterated 2010’s pathetic 159, but still fell short of my crazy 2011 year when I listened to 580 (which was ridiculous in hindsight, and I would never even attempt something like that again for my own sanity). Regardless, 2013 proved itself to be yet another incredible year of music, and I am ecstatic over how everything all turned out.

However (and as I already mentioned in the introduction of my final product), I am allowing access to the quick “first impression” reviews I wrote for every single album I listened to this year, over here. So if you are gutted that your favourite didn’t make the cut, you can look there to find out why, and also accept my apology here: sorry.

I hope this helps you listen to more music next year, and here is some more stuff you can read in the mean time:

Chapter 2:
Here, Have 50 More

Putting together a list like this is never without its agony, and as if murdering my own little children, I had to mercilessly hack down many worthwhile albums which narrowly missed the ladder for one reason or another. However, I will honour those fallen soldiers here, as putting together the following list was as painstaking to organise as the A-team, and took almost as long. This is very serious:


51. Gorguts - Colored Sands (I actually wrote a review for this one)
52. Touché Amoré - Is Survived By (I actually wrote a review for this one)
53. FIDLAR - FIDLAR
54. Woodkid - The Golden Age
55. The Haxan Cloak - Excavation
56. Savages - Silence Yourself
57. Juno Reactor - The Golden Sun of the Great East
58. Dawn Angeliqué Richard - Goldenheart
59. Jenny Hval - Innocence is Kinky
60. Iceage - You’re Nothing
61. Autre Ne Veut - Anxiety
62. Goldfrapp - Tales of Us
63. Melt-Banana - Fetch
64. Lorde - Pure Heroine
65. Celeste - Animale(s)
66. Danny Brown - Old
67. Autechre - Exai
68. R.A. the Rugged Man - Legends Never Die
69. Janelle Monáe - The Electric Lady
70. Oathbreaker - Eros|Anteros
71. Letherette - Letherette
72. The Field - Cupid’s Head
73. Chvrches - The Bones of What You Believe
74. The Dillinger Escape Plan - One of Us Is the Killer
75. Applescal - Dreaming In Key
76. Drake - Nothing Was the Same
77. Queens of the Stone Age - ...Like Clockwork
78. These New Puritans - Field of Reeds
79. Stara Rzeka - Cie? chmury nad ukrytym polem
80. Elton John - The Diving Board
81. Eluvium - Nightmare Ending
82. Dean Blunt - The Redeemer
83. Boards of Canada - Tomorrows Harvest
84. Vàli - Skogslandskap
85. Eminem - The Marshall Mathers LP 2
86. Gary Numan - Splinter (Songs From a Broken Mind)
87. Daniel Romano - Come Cry With Me
88. Jagwar Ma - Howlin
89. Chelsea Wolfe - Pain Is Beauty
90. Foxygen - We Are the 21st Century Ambassadors of Peace & Magic
91. Haim - Days Are Gone
92. Sleigh Bells - Bitter Rivals
93. Matana Roberts - Coin Coin Chapter Two: Mississippi Moonchile
94. Ashley Monroe - Like A Rose
95. Body/Head - Coming Apart
96. Death Grips - Government Plates
97. Blue Sky Black Death - Glaciers
98. Speedy Ortiz - Major Arcana
99. The Wonder Years - The Greatest Generation
100. H.A.M Squad - Instant Classic
(I just couldnt do it!)
101. Suuns - Images du futur
102. Anna Calvi - One Breath

Chapter 3:
Hall of Fame

Now that we have now finished the fourth year of the decade so far (as well as the fourth one of these articles Ive written), a few of the more superior artists have begun to rear their pretty heads, and I want to praise them lot here.
How it works is that I scoured my last articles to see which names appeared more than once. These entires included those from 2010; 2011; The 25 Albums That Narrowly Missed The 2011 list (Part 5 of this article); 2012; the near 2012 misses from the bottom of that same article; 2013; and the 2013 extra 50 above this section.
The order was calculated by adding said albums positions together (e.g: 19 + 23 = 42) then dividing it by the amount of years it featured (e.g 42/2 = 21) to give it a score. The lower the number, the better the artist. Simples!


James Blake (2011’s James Blake #01; 2013’s Overgrown #09)
The Caretaker (2011’s An Empty Bliss Beyond This World #04; 2012’s Patience (after Sebald) #15)
Deftones (2010’s Diamond Eyes #10; 2012’s Koi No Yokan #16)
Kanye West (2010’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy #25; 2011’s Watch The Throne (with Jay-Z) #19; 2013’s Yeezus #01)
Frank Ocean (2011’s Nostalgia, Ultra #27; 2012’s Channel Orange #03)
The National (2010’s High Violet #06; 2013’s Trouble Will Find Me #25)
St Vincent (2011’s Strange Mercy #10; 2012’s Love This Giant (with David Byrne) #27)
Crystal Castles (2010’s (II) #19; 2012’s (III) #23)
Arcade Fire (2010’s The Suburbs #09; 2013’s Reflektor #33)
The Black Keys (2010’s Brothers #23; 2011’s El Camino #21)
Die Antwoord (2010’s $O$ #04; 2012’s Ten$ion #40)
Nick Cave (2010’s Grinderman (as part of Grinderman) #22; 2013’sPush the Sky Away (as part of Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds) #28)
M.I.A (2010’s // / Y / #29; 2013’s Matangi #23)
Tame Impala (2010’s InnerSpeaker #43; 2012’s Lonerism #13)
Vampire Weekend (2010’s Contra #41; 2013’s Modern Vampires of the City #21)
The Roots (2010’s How I Got Over #32; 2011’s undun #36)
Janelle Monae (2010’s The ArchAndroid #01; 2013’s The Electric Lady #69)
El-P (2012’s Cancer For Cure #53; 2013’s Run the Jewels (as part of Run the Jewels) #18 )
Killing Joke (2010’s Absolute Dissent #28; 2012’s MMXII #47)
Anais Mitchell (2010’s Hadestown #05, 2011’s Young Man In America #76)
Jack White (2010’s Sea of Cowards (as part of Dead Weather) #46; 2012’s Blunderbuss #36)
Sleigh Bells (2010’s Treats #03; 2012’s Reign Of Terror #45; 2013’s Bitter Rivals #92)
Killer Mike (2012’s R.A.P. Music #74; 2013’s Run the Jewels (as part of Run the Jewels) #18)
Nicolas Jaar (2011’s Space Is Only Noise #50; 2013’s Psychic (as part of Darkside) #43)
Death Grips (2012’s The Money Store #06; 2013’s Government Plates #96)
Matana Roberts (2011’s COIN COIN Chapter One: Gens de couleur libres #13; 2013’s Coin Coin Chapter Two: Mississippi Moonchile #92)
Sigur Rós (2012’s Valtari #86; 2013’s Kveikur #30)
Chelsea Wolfe (2011’s Apokalypsis #32; 2013’s Pain Is Beauty #89)
Anna Calvi (2011’s Anna Calvi #28; 2013’s One Breath #103)
Eminem (2010’s Recovery #47; 2013’s The Marshall Mathers LP 2 #85)
Suuns (2011’s Zeroes QC #59; 2013’s Images du futur #101 )

Chapter 4:
Unlistened to Albums on My Radar

I am only one guy, but even if I was a hundred guys, I still could never listen to every album released in the year. Its impossible, try it! However, I took note of every single album which was suggested to me by one source or another, which inevitably meant there was this tragic list of left-behinds left behind. Maybe one of these albums were actually the Album Of The Year, who knows? I dont know. I cant even think like that, man, Im nearly dead as it is.

Amorphis - Circle
Armory - Empyrean Realms
Avatarium - Avatarium
Avenged Sevenfold - Hail to the King
Avril Lavigne - Avril Lavigne
Ayreon - The Theory of Everything
Bastille - Bad Blood
Birdy - Fire Within
Boy George - This Is What I Do
Britney Spears - Britney Jean
Chase & Status - Brand New Machine
Childish Gambino - Because the Internet
Crystal Antlers - Nothing Is Real
Crystal Stilts - Nature Noir
Cut Copy - Free Your Mind
Da Mafia 6ix - 6ix Commandments
Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip - Repent Replenish Repeat
Deap Vally - Sistrionix
Dennis Johnson - November (R. Andrew Lee)
Dizzee Rascal - The Fifth
DOTT - Swoon
Earthless - From the Ages
Eliza Doolittle - In Your Hands
Factory Floor - Factory Floor
Fat White Family - Champagne Holocaust
Fates Warning - Darkness in a Different Light
Fen - Dustwalker
Frankie Rose - Herein Wild
Glasser - Interiors
Hammock - Oblivion Hymns
Hopsin - Knock Madness
James Blunt - Moon Landing
John Mayer - Paradise Valley
Jonwayne - Rap Album One
Katatonia - Dethroned & Uncrowned
Katy Perry - PRISM
Las Kellies - Total Exposure
Less Than Jake - See The Light
M+A - These Days
Moby - Innocents
Morcheeba - Head Up High
Motorhead - Aftershock
Mount Eerie - Pre-Human Ideas
Night Beds - Country Sleep
NYPC - NYPC
Oliver Wilde - A Brief Introduction to Unnatural Light Years
Peter Brötzmann - Long Story Short
Pity Sex - Feast of Love
Portugal. The Man - Evil Friends
Progenie Terrestre Pura - U.M.A.
Qwel & Maker - Beautiful Raw
R Kelly - Black Panties
Scar the Martyr - Scar the Martyr
Sebastien Grainger - Yours To Discover
Shearwater - Fellow Travelers
Special Request - Soul Music
The Besnard Lakes - Until in Excess, Imperceptible UFO
The Child of Lov - The Child of Lov
The Internet - Feel Good
The Men - New Moon
This Routine Is Hell - Howl
Tindersticks - Across Six Leap Years
Travis - Where You Stand
Ulcerate - Vermis
Violent Soho - Hungry Ghost
William Tyler - Impossible Truth
Wooden Shjips - Back to Land

Beyoncé - Beyoncé
Contemporary R&B
December 13

And then my greatest fear happened: two days after my cut-off date, one of the most original R&B records Ive ever heard leaped out of the shadows from one of the most unlikely candidates I could have ever predicted. It was like, first Justin Timberlake, now this?? Beyoncé actually released a better album than Jay-Z this year??? I dont even know you anymore, music! Because here is an album unconcerned with hits, much more concerned with creativity, coated in unexpected tricks and unorthodox melodies, little samples from Beyoncés musical career cleverly tying the dynamic unit together, boldly moving into regions so much darker than shed ever dared to venture before. And more than anything, it owns every other female artist out this year, reinforcing her strength as a woman made from pure determination—from the unconventional business model (no promotion, no hype, exclusively released on itunes), to the imagination (each song has its own short film ffs), to the sexual freedom (which, truthfully, can get a bit cringy at times), and yet never losing her human element, surrendering frequent glimpses into the personal insecurities which come with married life and parenthood. Honestly, if this was released a month earlier, it could have been the Album Of The Year, and that is heartbreaking.

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Why Women Leave Men

If you are worried that your wife or girlfriend is about to leave you, or has already left you, you may want an answer to the question:"why women leave men?"  The truth of the matter is that its probably not what you think, and there can be several reasons.
In any long term relationship things pile up.  Little frustrations, hurts, insensitive remarks can all add up over a period of time and each little thing is like a brick in a wall.  After a while you will have one very big wall.  Thats the point where one party will throw their hands up and say Enough!" and leave.  The important thing is to make sure your relationship never gets to that point.
One thing you have to do is un-learn much of what youve been told about women and what they want.  If you think women are needy, and high maintenance you need to re-evaluate your thinking (of course some women are that way, but not most of them).  While this may sound stupid here is something you should try: stop thinking of your woman as a woman, instead think of her as a person.  Treat her the same way you like people to treat you.
One of the biggest mistakes men make is they either treat their woman like a whore, a surrogate mommy, or they go to the complete opposite side of the spectrum and put her on a pedestal where they treat her like shes made of porcelain.  The best thing to do is treat her like a human being: a unique individual that has her own mind, needs, and wants. Get to know the real woman, not the person you want her to be, or think she should be. 
Dont lump all women together.  Dont assume your wife or girlfriend likes a certain thing or should act a certain way just because some other woman (or your mom) does.  More than likely you have several male friends.  Do you treat each one of them the exact same way, or do you modify your behavior (slightly) for each unique relationship you have?
Women leave men because they are unsatisfied in one way or another.  Each relationship is different but at the end of the day your wife or girlfriend will leave because she is not getting enough of her needs met, its as simple as that. 
Most women want their husband or boyfriend to be a friend and confidant.  They want someone who acts like they actually like them.  Many men dont act like they even like their women and they certainly dont treat them like a trusted friend.
Women have sexual needs just like men.  Our society has done a huge disservice to men and women because it tells men they have this huge sex drive and that its ok to pick up women whenever they want to and that women have to be good girls who will only have sex with their husband.
The fact of the matter is that is not true. Women have the same sex drive as men, they are just conditioned to not act on it whenever the whim hits them.  What women dont want is to think that their man only wants them for sex.  Women will often disconnect from their men physically because even though they like sex they also like non-sexual physical contact and many men think they have to turn every incident of physical contact into a sexual encounter.  After a while your woman wont even want you to touch her, and shell find someone else.
So if you want to avoid having your wife or girlfriend leave and you want to  answer the question: "why women leave men?" just follow some of these simple tips and treat your women like someone who you like and love and your relationship should last a long time.

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The Rise And Fall Of Modern Day Feminism

I was raised with two sisters, one younger and one older than me. My whole life I have been fascinated with them as human beings, for they are arguably the most headstrong and ambitious people I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. Nothing ever seemed like it could stand in their way, and without complaining about circumstance or doubting their own abilities, I have watched as they separately set out goals and pursued them until they have both achieved success in almost all areas of life—or at least more than I have, anyway. And while I am sure they would have a lot to say about the content in this article themselves, from my outside perspective, I never once heard any accusations of life treating them in any unfair manner or witnessed them wallowing in the pool of self-pity. These two girls are among my top female icons.

I tell you this, because they were perhaps the catalyst for my current attitude towards women as a whole. Growing up (and even as I type this), I always considered females to be the stronger of the genders. Boys appeared to have less control, too quick to act in a macho way, pretending to be something they’re not, finding solutions in insults and fists. Girls, on the other hand, were the more nurturing, compassionate version of the human being, much more willing to listen and faster to admit weakness, which is in reality a sign of strength. I honestly was convinced for a long time that there was a secret within society, one where girls controlled the world and knew it, achieving said ownership by allowing the boys to think the boys were in control, whilst quietly instructing us what to do (and by looking at a lot of relationships, this is often the case).

However, this idea came crashing down very recently, directly connected to the uprising of modern-day-first-world-third-wave feminism. You may have noticed it yourself during the last few years, where this mass influx of interest over said movement, slowly dominated our social feeds and sprouted all over our news sources, and while most of my friends managed to escape it, this shit really messed with my insides. You mean to tell me that girls are not part of some organisation which completely controls the planet? You are saying that they, in actual fact, consider themselves victims of our society? I was disappointed, but even more so, was overwhelmed by guilt. As a male, I was shocked at what they were saying about me and my gender, the wrong things we were doing and saying and thinking, and especially the suggestion that none of these girls felt safe because of us. This would not do. I needed to help.

It consumed me. It swallowed me up and boiled me in its womb. I became obsessed. I studied everything I could on the history of the subject, I read a new article every single day (and still do), I joined forums and I followed relevant twitter accounts, making a load of feminist friends (male and female) along the way. I estimate that I know more about the subject than at least 70% of the community, and Im open to be challenged. And, how exciting, it appeared I had joined the army at just the right time. New reports were pouring in every minute, my facebook was flooded, people were making some noise! It was madness! We were shouting! We were spreading awareness! We were making a difference.

But then one day, I made a mistake. I asked questions.

Id done well at grasping the fundamental basics of feminism: the equality of all people. I knew the topics we were fighting against: the pay gap, the sexualised body image, the lack of sexual freedom, the catcalling, the security of women, etc. However, there were some details I was unsure of, factors which seemed either irrelevant, overly-sensitive, or at times, a little excessively man-hating. And so I started querying things, to the likes of:

Do you ever feel feminism is trying to make boys and girls the same rather than celebrating our differences?
Isn’t catcalling a bit of a first world problem in comparison to what’s going on in other countries, gender wise?
I get what we’re trying to do here, but are we proposing problems or solutions? And while we’re on the topic, what are the solutions?
Are we also giving enough time to the gender role problems men face too, like rights over children or statutory rape charges when both parties were equally drunk and consensual?
Is the word FEMinism really all inclusive? Shouldn’t we consider changing it?

And then BAM, just like that, the crew I had devoted so many hours of my energy supporting, turned to face me with claws and teeth and spit and growls. I was told to check my privilege. I was labeled a sexist just for asking. I was condescendingly informed I was a white male, and so I would never understand. In fact, I am willing to bet money that some of you reading this right now, judge me on the same basis. How dare a boy write about feminism when he cannot comprehend what it’s like to be a victim? Just because he takes an interest in equality and wants girls to feel free from harm, does not give him a right to ask questions, correct? He is not a girl, and therefore will never know what it means. Be honest with yourself, is that what you were thinking? Don’t worry if it was, I’m used to it. But you have to at least recognise why, at this point, I started to wonder if feminism was a healthy movement after all. Once the curtain dropped and I had been attacked for asking things, I notice a new side to the story, which only provoked me to ask further questions and make louder jokes. Naturally that didnt help the situation whatsoever.

Its a difficult thing to explain without digging a hole, so I must firstly say #NotAllFeminists, and thank the various people who have taken the time to approach my concerns with intelligence and a solution-based mentality. Those are the girls (and boys) who give feminism a good name and helped the growth of my interest, and I appreciate them wholeheartedly. Unfortunately, such examples were few and far between. More often than not, I saw the word being driven by anger, by insecurity, by a bombardment of keywords, and a disregard to any opposing opinions. It was no wonder I had been feeling so negative lately! I had surrounded myself with hate! This was not a journey of positive change! This was a journey of barking and stress! And so regrettably, while still actively playing my part in the equality of genders by defending womens rights and going out of my way to make the girls in my own life feel safe and comfortable, I had to reluctantly turn my back on the word “feminism”.

And heres the thing. I am not alone.

As with anything in our world, the bigger they are, the harder they fall. The feminist culture has grown so massive and in-your-face, that the inevitable counterculture rose up in protest. And even though I find it mostly comedic, the Women Against Feminism facebook group was a real eye opener to me. It not only showed that feminists weren’t talking on behalf of females (they are talking on behalf of feminists, fyi), but also further revealed the ugly side of the movement. We have women fighting for the equality of women, but if other women didn’t agree with their methods, then they were the enemy along with everyone else—and of course, the enemy was always stupid. I dont know, something about that mentality didn’t sit right with me, perhaps because I figured equality was about freedom of opinions?

But now we had an active “pro-feminism/anti-feminism” debate going on, and as a result, it only exploded further. So much so, that in a recent poll conducted by Time Magazine, the word “feminism” was rated as one of the most annoying terms of 2014, up there with “bae”, “said no one ever” and “om nom nom nom” (note: they did retract this entry later, but the damage was done). Whichever side of the feminism fence you are on, this is a severe blow to the development, one which indicates a general public apathy towards the perpetual vomit of the topic forced upon us on a daily basis. People are getting sick of it, and that’s the most dangerous threat any idea can face.

It continues: not so long ago Amanda Palmer (a feminist icon to many) posted this link to her facebook, which explicitedly warns feminists against overdoing it. It’s worth the read in full, but here is an excerpt:

“...if feminism becomes like the boy who cried wolf—if girls, and women, cry sexism too readily and often—America will stop listening. The minute feminism becomes hypercritical and humorless, it becomes too easy for the mainstream to dismiss our more valid complaints.”

And these type of articles are not the anomaly, they are becoming the norm, especially in regards to how males are often ignored on the subject of equality. Men are no longer afraid to express concerns over the words exclusivity. Videos have surfaced attempting to highlight the double standards of gender domestic abuse and catcalling. Statistics are only now coming out that one in every nine rape victims are men. And while online harassment has recently grown into a hot topic for the feminist world, studies have shown that this too is not necessarily a girl issue.

Just quickly while were talking cyberbullying, we cannot ignore that at times, it is the feminists themselves who are carrying out the attack. Just a few days ago, Dr Matt Taylor was involved in the incredible feat of landing a probe on a comet—which should have been the greatest day of his life. Instead, it turned out to be the worst, as he went viral as a mysogonist for his misjudged choice of shirt, one displaying provocative images of anime characters, and the femternet tore him a new one, calling him every variation of a sexist under the stars until he cried. Perhaps his choice of attire may have been a little on the bad taste side (if nothing else, even in a fashion sense type of way), but it once again exposed the over-sensitivety and brutality of this community. Its just a fucking shirt, yet it shall stick to his reputation for the rest of his life.

All these things are damaging womens liberation too, as it starts to become a parody of itself and reflects badly on those who remember what the real fight was meant to be. How about the conspiracy that drug companies are using feminism against you? Or that adverts are exploiting little kids by paying them to swear about feminism just to sell shirts? These are only some of the examples about how the once beautiful intention of bringing genders closer together, has slowly turned into a war between who thinks what about feminism as a concept itself, rather than what its trying to accomplish. In fact, on any given day, just check Google news, and you are sure to find an almost even amount of reports supporting or questioning feminism (usually about feminism rather than what feminism is about), and none of them will make you feel any better.

But what about the celebrity support? The world cheered for Emma Watsons UN speech, and that was a huge win for the pro-feminist arena, right? Right! But lets not forget a big part of that was her careful inclusion of the social injustices towards men too, something so rare for a public figure to acknowledge that almost every headline focused on it. But even when considering this, there are countless celebrities who have distanced themselves from the word, including: Selma Hayek, Katy Perry, Lana Del Rey, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, Bjork, Madonna, Susan Sarandon, and Demi Moore, to name a few. Does this make feminism look alive and well to you? Hell, even those who do believe in the movement are fighting. Its a mess.

To conclude, the problem here is that a lot of people get confused and consider “anti-feminism” to be synonymous with “anti-women and equal rights,” but this is not the case. It is against the culture, the moral superiority, the repetitiveness, and the rivalry, which is not a bad thing to be against. But even with that being said, I still see no need to be anti-feminist myself. I will forever pay attention to what is being spoken about, support what I believe in, skim over what I don’t, admire the past successes, and respect anyone who has this level of passion for anything. But based on how the community all too often neglects my gender and has embarked on a quest to find prejudice within any corner of conversation (at times, making it up if its not there), I can no longer associate that label with myself. Then again, maybe this all serves me right. Maybe I deserve the animosity. I am a male after all.

But finally, the real tragedy here is how close to change we nearly were. For almost a whole year, feminists had the mic, and the entire world was listening. The complication arose when no two feminists could seem to agree on what the priority was, and instead we, the listeners, were hit with a list of a hundred points, some of which contradicted each other and others of which were even rejected by their own comrades—which is just so typical female (lol, joke! That was a joke! Please dont judge this article by that line!). If we had only decided to tackle one issue at a time (say perhaps, the pay gap or catcalling), and focused all that energy and vocal power on destroying a specific factor of discrimination piece by piece, we probably would have solved at least two or three major issues by now instead of alienating and confusing the masses until they were bored with the conversation. And Im worried that at this advanced stage, it may be too late. We may have already blown it.

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The Mental Side Of Losing Arm Flab

By Katherine Crawford M.S.

When trying to lose arm flab, exercise and nutrition are only part of the equation. In fact, they arent even the most important parts of the equation.

There is so much free information out there that most women know how to eat and exercise in a relatively healthy way.

The main issue that holds most women back when trying to lose arm flab, is an inability to stick with something for extended periods of time.

You see, a poor mental strategy will lead to massive undulations in motivation. And keeping a high level of motivation all the time is the key to sexy arm stardom. I grappled with this issue for a very long time. But I found a cure.

What was my saving grace? The one and only David Burns M.D. He wrote an excellent book which provided easy to use methods for optimizing thought processes. Central to his method, was the identification of major thought distortions.

So without further delay, here are some major things you need to look out for if you want lasting motivation when learning how to lose arm flab:

1. Pressurizing statements. These types of statements are like using a whip to motivate yourself. They may work initially, but over time they will become too painful and your motivation will fade. How do you avoid them? Avoid telling yourself that you "should" exercise or diet. Instead, tell yourself that you WANT to exercise or diet. The slight shift in wording will have a tremendous impact on you.

2. Labeling phrases. Never give yourself a label when messing up. Labels indicate that there is something internally wrong with you which is NOT the case. So dont call yourself a "loser" or a "slob." Instead, describe the situational circumstances that led to the hiccup so that you can prevent it from happening again.

3. Minimization. Doing this will make you feel one inch tall. You see, with minimization you assume that your "true potential" is much smaller than it actually is. Always assume that you can do something, never assume that you cant. Test your distorted assumptions with action.

If you want to lose arm flab, you have to have the right mental game plan in place. Without it, your motivation is likely to fade with time. Keeping the above in mind, will bring you one step closer to constant motivation. - 30535

About the Author:

Author Katherine Crawford M.S., a Harvard fitness expert and former flabby arms casualty, instructs women on how to lose arm fat. Unearth how to get sexy arms by exploring her blog about fat arms now!

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A Complete Reference Guide to Manage PPC Campaigns

Pay Per Click or PPC marketing is a highly focused and cost-effective way to drive targeted traffic to a business website. This method is adopted by many companies offering PPC services in Northern Ireland as it not only offers instant qualified leads from the advertising but also brings results that can be tracked and measured.

Pay Per Click lets the business present its product directly to the people who are actively looking for it and are ready to "buy" and helps the business increase its visibility in an economical manner when organized in the right way.

Leveraging Pay Per Click advertising along with SEO and professional Web design in Belfast can help businesses maximize their return on investment in Pay Per Click ads that convert. The process involves researching and making a keywords list, creating ads and focused landing pages, managing the bids and monitoring them for optimum performance.

How does PPC work?
PPC advertising is a unique method where advertisers pay only when someone clicks their ad and lands on their website. This is called "cost per click". This is a highly targeted model as the ads are displayed in search results that relate to the keywords used. It means that people who are specifically looking for the business’ products and services.

There are two advertising models offered by PPC services in Northern Ireland across the major search engines:

# Search network where the Pay Per Click ads appear in the search engine results as "Sponsored Links" on top of the organic search listings and on the sidebar
# Content network where the ads relevant to the sites keywords and content appear on websites that have signed up for this

Managing the campaign efficiently involves the following steps:

Keyword selection
Keyword research, analysis and selection is the first critical step as these are the words users will type into the search engine to find the product, service or information. The search engine matches the users search key phrase to bring up the best results. The business must maintain an ongoing list of keywords to target so that it can find out which ones convert the most.

Creating targeted PPC ads
After determining the most relevant keywords, the next step is creating ads that convert. PPC services in Northern Ireland recommend composing different variations of ads and building landing pages focused on keywords. This is followed by continuous testing to optimize the ones that result in sales. These ads can be geo-targeted to a specific location.

Bidding
This is an important aspect of PPC advertising where the goal is to get the maximum leads at the least expense. Bids must be optimized based on keyword performance constantly to monitor the ROI and ensure the best results.

Measurement
One of the biggest advantages of Pay Per Click advertising is its ability to be monitored and measured and analyzed. This makes it possible to sift through the keywords, drop the non-performers and focus on the ones that bring results. The campaign can be constantly improved.

The beauty of PPC services in Northern Ireland is its suitability for businesses of all sizes. Implementing a successful campaign requires a good understanding of the client, its market and the keywords being used in search. It is vital to remember that good website design in Belfast Pay Per Click campaigns, especially for the landing pages plays a significant role in keyword conversion.

WSI Digital Web provides web design services in Belfast along with services like SEO, Ecommerce, video marketing, mobile marketing, content writing and PPC services in Northern Ireland

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How to apologize to an ex girlfriend

Whether you committed some horrible wrong, or just did something petty and stupid to end your relationship, you regret it now and you want her back. The best way to get her back is a sincere, heartfelt apology.

When it comes to knowing how to apologize, sincerity is important, otherwise your strategy will backfire and your relationship may be permanently over. But, before you rush off to apologize to her on bended knee, take some time to ponder your situation. Think about the mistakes you’ve made and how you can avoid them in the future.

It’s important to realize that when you attempt to be open and apologize to an emotionally wounded ex lover, it’s very easy to fall into a shouting match full of blame and accusations. This is why you must carefully plan and manage this conversation. Before you speak even one word, consider carefully what you will say to avoid having your ex misinterpret and misunderstand your words. If what you really want is to have her back, consider this information on how to apologize the right way. Take the time to learn what caused your relationship to break down in the first place. She isn’t likely to forgive you if you tell her you’re sorry, but deep down you have no idea what for.

Women are fed up with crocodile tears meant only for show, especially if their ex was unfaithful to them. When you tell her you’re sorry, she’ll need something of substance in order to trust you again. Be sure you understand the issues in the relationship and take responsibility for your mistakes. Pinpoint the problems in your relationship that prompted you to cheat on her and be committed to working on correcting those mistakes.

Your apology should be both realistic and specific. Tell her how weak you were and that you’ve taken steps to become a better person than you were. You must also let her know that you are aware of her pain, that you regret causing it, and that you’re willing to do whatever it takes to show her just how sorry you are.

One thing to remember though is to avoid making lofty promises. While your intentions may be good, there’s nothing more detrimental to a newly healing relationship than breaking your promises. Really think about what you’re saying. You can certainly promise to curb your jealousy and show her more support, but you can’t promise her an entirely perfect and conflict-free relationship. When you are realistic about the promises you make, you let her know that you are sincere and serious about making things work.

You should also focus solely on the issues only if you want to apologize effectively. Mutual finger-pointing and saying hurtful things just for vengeance will get you nowhere. If your partner does begin to call you hurtful names, don’t take the bait and cause it to escalate. Be patient and let the moment pass.

Your betrayal has left her hurt and wounded, and she might even try to inflict verbal or physical harm on you. Be a patient listener as you try to reason with her. Knowing how to apologize properly is crucially important if you want to get her trust back. Just remember to be honest and sincere, and be willing to learn from past mistakes. Whatever you may have done, everyone deserves a second chance at love.

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Getting back together after a mutual breakup

Is it a good idea to try to get your ex back after a mutual breakup?

...The voices of friends and family can complicate the situation. If your ex was very close to your family theyll have plenty to say once you tell them you broke up. How could you let this happen? Why? And when you tell them it was partly your decision, theyll blame you for the loss of someone theyd come to think of as a family member.

Read more of Get your ex back after a mutual breakup?

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After an affair reviews from Ruth

Ruth has added a couple of really great reviews over at the main site. Theyre reviews of two different books -- really "programs" or "systems" -- that help you work through the aftermath of your husbands affair. The target audience is women who want to stay married.

The first is a review of How to Survive an Affair by Dr. Frank Gunzburg.

The second is a review of Affair Repair by Kara Oh.

Both reviews... you can really tell that Ruth has actually read both books and understands their pros and cons.

Ruth also did a page that compares the two: Two Guaranteed Ways to Save Your Marriage After an Affair.

Im really proud of how her part of the site is coming along.

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Productivity is Critical

By Cory James

Ive always been big on the idea of making the most of my time. While I genuinely do enjoy my work, I value my free time even more. After all, I work so hard in order to enjoy the lifestyle that I desire.

I really do my best to stick to my work while Im working. Youd be amazed at how much more youll get done if youre focused the entire time, as it makes a world of difference.

Im going to share a few tips with you that Ive developed as far as strategies go. These all help me stay completely attuned to my work, as once you develop these habits theyll be a lot easier to keep in place.

First of all, make sure that you get an ample amount of sleep. I know that it may be somewhat out of your control, but getting the right amount of rest at night can be the sole difference between a productive day and a waste of a day for me.

My mind simply isnt the same if I havent slept for at least 6 1/2 hours the night before.

In addition to sleep, the amount of exercise that you get is critical too. I go to the gym every day and I find that my best hours are the few hours that follow my workouts because my mind is the most clear at the time.

In addition to that, itll give you more energy to endure through a days worth of hard work. Lastly, it helps you to sleep better at night, which in turn will lead to more productive days.

I would also recommend listening to some music in the background while you work. Find the right volume and make it commercial free, as youre really just using it for background noise, which in turn keeps you focused. This works wonders for me and really gets me into the zone. - 30535

About the Author:

About the author: Visit his latest blog, where he eliminates any concerns of an optin profits scam.

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Mindpower Secrets Revealed

By Brian Parry

Scientists estimate that we only use around ten percent of our mind power. - Only ten percent! Can you imagine what would happen if you could access the remaining ninety percent? The results would be incredible!

Scientists agree that people who exhibit psychic and extra sensory abilities must be able to use these abilities due to somehow using that 90% of the human mind which usually lies idle. Some people appear to have these abilities from birth but others develop their mind power and start using these latent talents later on in life.

Were not sure yet how it works, but there is ongoing research into how our own mindpower can influence the world we live in.

Some studies even point towards the ability of our own minds to change reality. Our minds may be molded by the world less that they mold it, it seems.

The Secret and other works about the law of attraction lay out how to use mindpower to change their lives and even the world!

In case you have not come across it before, the law of attraction concerns the whole universe and states that there is a cause and effect for everything we do. So whatever you think about you will get! You must however communicate with your subconscious mind to tell it what you want; otherwise it presumes you want everything to stay as it is. Scientifically this is known as a state of homeostasis.

It seems that not only is the subconscious the prime mover behind psychic powers like remote viewing and telepathy, but is also our conduit to the energy of the universe around us.

Now the key to the development of your mindpower is to communicate with your subconscious mind. But how exactly do you do this? There are a number of ways.

Affirmations:- Affirmations are a well known positive thinking technique. When you repeat a positive affirmation to yourself, your subconscious begins to understand and begin using your untapped mindpower and start making your wishes a reality.

If you needed to boost your self esteem, you may tell yourself things like I am confident and well liked. If you want to break a habit, you can use affirmations like I only eat healthy foods.

With consistent repetition affirmations really do work. You communicate with your subconscious mind, telling it to do something different and it does! It makes you behave differently.

Follow this line of reasoning and youll see that you can change everything; not just your own behavior but reality itself can be molded by your own mindpower!

Visualization:- You can also develop your mindpower using visualization. Visualization consists of closing your eyes and picturing the things you want to happen in your minds eye. Your subconscious mind responds to the images which you focus your thoughts on and begins using your mindpower to make them a reality. You can visualize anything you want and with practice, youll increase your mindpower and make it possible.

You can use visualization to help you develop some of the psychic abilities which are naturally present in every human being. You can visualize yourself predicting the future or communicating via telepathy. If you keep practicing, visualization can bring these latent abilities to the surface and increase your mindpower even further.

Hypnosis:- Hypnosis has long been known as a way to communicate with the subconscious and to increase mindpower. A hypnotist can give suggestions to your subconscious which it will act on.

Alternatively you can try self hypnosis where you listen to a recording of a hypnotherapist going through the session. The advantage of this, apart from the cost, is that you can keep listening to it over and over again.

Brainwave entrainment:- Brainwave entrainment uses new breakthroughs in audio technology. Certain frequencies attune your brainwaves resulting in many different benefits such as pain relief and improved memory.

Some frequencies attune your mind to the trance state where it becomes easy to speak directly to the subconscious and thus increase mindpower.

Other frequencies can stimulate the parts of your body known as the chakra energy centers. There is a chakra in the center of your forehead called the third eye chakra which is responsible for psychic powers.

In fact you do not even really develop these powers. They are inside you already. It is thought that humans many thousands of years ago had this enhanced mindpower, but it became repressed and locked deep inside the mind.

When we talk about developing mindpower, what we really mean is unlocking the potential psychic abilities which are present in every person and starting to access the potential of that 90% of the brain which we dont use every day. - 30535

About the Author:

Brian Parry is a writer for the popular http://www.mindpower-info.com website. Discover how easy it really is to be a huge success with Mindpower by visiting here. Change your life forever with a huge collection of Free Mind Power Success Secrets Audios.

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Stages Of A Relationship Understanding Them Makes A Difference

You’re probably not thinking about the different stages of a relationship while you’re with someone. And especially if the relationship is new or restarting after a breakup, it’s not likely on your mind. But if you understand the different stages of a relationship it can help you understand where you are and what’s yet to come.

Of all the stages of a relationship, the first stage is probably the most exciting.  This is the romance stage, the beginning. There’s dating and getting to know each other, and each of you is on your very best behavior because you want to woo the other person.

This stage is often called the honeymoon period, because everything is fresh and new. Everything the other person does probably seems wonderful. You laugh at his jokes, and don’t mind the person’s flaws. In fact, you may even find his flaws endearing. Just like anything new, it can be a great deal of fun and seem adventurous.

The next two stages are the make or break stages that many couples never make it through. They account for things like very short relationships and marriages. The second stage is commonly known as the power struggle stage.

This is when the newness starts to wear off, and usually starts somewhere between six months to a year after the relationships starts. It’s during this time that things start to get serious. Everything isn’t as cute and endearing as it was in the beginning.

Each person in the relationship is trying to get his or her needs met, and they’re starting to notice where the other person falls short in doing that. If you’re in this stage, take a step back. The things you’re finding fault with in the other person are probably flaws that you have also.

If a couple can get through this stage, the relationship has a much better chance of lasting. Unfortunately, many couples try to change each other in the second stage. This leads to break-ups. Honest communication is the key to getting past it. Be understanding, and realize that you have shortcomings, too.

The third of the stages of a relationship is where you realize that you can’t change the other person, and you stop trying. If you came to that realization by talking with your partner and being understanding, then congratulations are in order!

This stage for you will be one of learning to be content with what the other has to offer and learning to take care of yourself. If the power struggle ended badly, then this is the stage where you’re likely to end the relationship.

The next stage is that of commitment. You realized you couldn’t change each other but you still made it work, and you know you want to be together.  Now you can move on to a true partnership, which is the last stage.

Many couples bounce from stage 2 to 3 several times before moving on to commitment. By understanding the stages of a relationship, you’re at least aware of what’s happening and why.

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What Can Save Marriage When Everything Seems Hopeless

What can save marriage when everything seems hopeless? 
Marriage is considered a sacred institution by most of the world’s religions.  It is the foundation of the family, which, in turn, is the foundation for society.  So, there is a lot of emphasis on saving a marriage.
But that doesn’t mean that marriages today don’t run into trouble.  The changing roles of men ad women, financial pressures, and difficulties with children all make it hard to make marriages work.
So who do you turn to?
Perhaps the best place to look is the institution that values marriage more than any other – the church.
While a clinical psychologist or licensed family therapist will take an individualistic approach to marriage counseling, a pastor will focus on making the marriage work in a wholistic sense.  Over all, this has a better chance of actually saving the marriage.
Why is a pastoral counselor better than a secular therapist? 
A secular therapist’s education focuses almost entirely on treating individual psychopathologies.  Even “Marriage and Family” designated counselors may have only one class or elective dealing specifically with couple’s therapy.  Do you think this approach can save marriage?
A pastoral counselor, on the other hand, will be educated in how to bring couples closer together.  With the exception of abuse in the relationship, they have the fundamental belief that once the vows are taken, the marriage is forever.
Some pastoral counselors have formal education in counseling.  More and more seminaries are offering pastoral counseling degrees.  But even ministers without a formal degree take classes and seminars in the subject.
If you don’t have a church home, you might have some difficulty finding a pastor to help you.  And, you don’t have six months to establish membership in a church before approaching the pastor.
In this case, you can call various churches and ask them if they have any upcoming couples retreats where you can save marriage through these weekend seminars.  Once you have established a relationship with a skilled pastor in these settings, you may be able to do follow up counselor with the same person.
A good couple’s retreat will help you deal with many different types of issues.  There will be group sessions and couple’s sessions.  You will also have time to work on questions individually.
Communication is a big issue at these conferences.  If you can work on your communications issues, you will find that the other pieces of the relationship fall into place.
Sex, finances, and child raising are also addressed.  The goal is to get you back on track in every aspect of your relationship.  You don’t have to be on the same page going in, but the hope is that you will be when you leave. 
Marriage is tough.  Sometimes it seems like the relationship cannot endure.  But, there are so many reasons to see if you can’t make it work.  In this case, consider seeing if a pastor can save marriage.

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The Law Of Abundance And Your New Life

By Kim McMillan

There is nothing complicated about the law of abundance, to put it simply all you need to do is believe. You should believe you deserve wealth, health, happiness, love and think positive. That is it, no more no less. All types of people have been abiding by this law for generations and this simplistic belief has reaped many benefits for them.

Its lack of difficulty is the best thing about the law of abundance. It may be a novel concept but the truth is everything you have and who you are is a product of what you have been thinking over the past few years. Believe it or not the things you do not have are also a product of this type of thinking.

When you wake up every day, the law of abundance is automatically at work for you. The problem with most people is that they fail to take advantage of the powers that be in their lives.

If you want your dreams to come true and manifest themselves in your life, you must look at what you have already. It is through appreciation for these things that you will see multiplication begin to take hold in your life.

Its common sense. If you are naturally a pessimistic person, thinking positively about life may seem like a challenge. In reality, all you are doing is breaking a bad habit. Again, taking advantage of the law of abundance doesnt have to be difficult.

When you awake each day, you have the ability to create multiple opportunities for happiness and wealth. When you greet the day in a foul mood however you are setting yourself up to experience disappointment and even failure. If you need some help along the way, try posting notes around the house about how successful and lucky you truly are.

Being open to this level of abundance, you will find there are so many things for you to attain. By not taking advantage of the law of abundance, people will foil their own success and wealth. If you truly want to prevent this, you must take control of your thought life. Make it a conscious decision to change the way you think.

When a negative thought sneaks into your thought processes flip it upside down and turn it into something that is positive for you. There are those who find it beneficial to feed off these negative thoughts. If you are naturally pessimistic, this may be something you can work with to bring about the law of abundance.

Many people are constantly thinking of themselves in the negative, feeling like they are fat or ugly, next time try telling yourself how beautiful and fit you are. You will feel the happiness begin to flow abundantly in you. At this point, you will have whatever you ask for because this energy is irresistible and contagious.

Do you want to see abundance increase in your life drastically? Instead of constantly thinking, you never have any money turn it around and say you have everything you need and then some!

Making the law of abundance a moving force in your life is something you can achieve. When you accept life, the way it is and appreciate what you already have, you open the door to the law and you will be absolutely amazed by how much better things will be. - 30535

About the Author:

The author Kim McMillan writes for the popular http://www.abundance-info.com website. Discover how easy it really is to be successful at using manifesting secrets by visiting here. Change your life forever with a huge collection of Free Abundance success Audios and Videos.

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How to forget about your ex girlfriend

You went through all the motions of a breakup, from the lonely evenings alone to the drunken nights out with the guys, and youre ready to begin a new relationship with a woman youve been eyeing for a while. But youre wondering how to go about forgetting your ex completely so that you can start this new relationship from a fresh perspective. Read on for the 10 steps you should take to do just that.

1- Accept reality: Shes gone

 

This first step may take longer for some than for others, depending on how serious the relationship was. Obviously, if you were living with your ex, youll have a harder time accepting the breakup than if you only dated seriously for a few months.

The sooner you accept the reality that she is not coming back, the sooner you can begin to move on with your new love. So stop that little voice from telling you that shes going to "come to her senses" and call you.

2- Clear your head

 

I dont mean for this to sound "self-help-y" or anything, but you have to let go of the anger and hurt that youre feeling about your past relationship. If you dont, you will just drag it into the new relationship, which can spell disaster.

For instance, you may misinterpret your new girlfriends behavior because of the ways in which your ex reacted. Or you may take out your latent anger toward your ex on your new lady. Avoid this by just letting those feelings go and starting fresh.

3- Learn from your mistakes

 

Once youve gotten rid of the negative emotions, you can begin to view your past relationship as a learning experience. Think about why you broke up and the reasons you were incompatible.

By taking this extra step, you will ensure that you dont repeat the same mistakes that eventually led to your breakup, and youll be that much closer to discovering the traits that really matter to you in a mate.

4- Talk to your new girlfriend

 

Although this may seem counterintuitive, it is a good idea to talk to your new girlfriend about your ex. That way, she will understand where youre coming from and she wont misinterpret anything you do or say.

However, dont go on ad nauseum about her because this will probably scare your new girl away, and then youll have to start this list of steps all over again.

5- Cut off contact with her

 

The general consensus among people Ive talked to seems to be that exes cant ever "just be friends." Although the optimists among us like to think that its possible to retain a friendship with their ex, the realists know that this is just not going to happen. There are always unresolved issues that cause former lovers to act in strange ways.

The faster you accept this as a truth, the better off youll be. So stop calling her and showing up where you know shell be, and focus your attention on your new girlfriend.

6- Put her picture away

 

While youre at it, collect all the memorabilia of your past relationship, such as pictures, letters, clothing, and any other trinkets that you amassed, and throw them out. If youre the type of person that never throws anything away, put everything in a box, close it and stash it in a closet or storage space.

7- Find a new favorite spot

 

Try not to take your new flame to the same restaurants and clubs you went to with your ex, as this will only bring up memories of your times together and cause you to waste your energy thinking about her instead of your new girlfriend.

The best thing to do is find a new restaurant or fun spot that neither of you has ever been to before and experience it for the first time together. Who knows, it may even become "your place."

8- Introduce your new girlfriend to friends and family

 

Introducing your new lady to your friends and family will help you move on. When they begin to think of the two of you as a couple and forget about the woman you used to be with, it will be that much easier for you to do the same.

9- Dont compare

 

Do not compare your new girlfriend to your ex in any way, shape or form. Period.

10- Appreciate your new girlfriends uniqueness

 

Instead, focus on what makes your new girlfriend unique. How is she special? What does she do that no one else can do? By answering these questions, you will be able to zone in on the qualities you love about her and appreciate them all the more.

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To call my ex or not to call my ex

Excerpt taken from a new article on HelpGettingBackTogether.com:

"Would you call that guy Dave, that you worked with two years ago, who still has that book he borrowed from you and now you need it back? Sure you would. So that tells you, if your ex has something of yours that you need to get back, it is okay to call."

Read the full text here, about whether or not its okay to call your ex: To call my ex, or not to call my ex?

Its also available here: (offsite)

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The Positive Effects Of the Seven Chakras

By Jonathan Benjem

Chakras are the focal points of the body where life force energy is generated. Chakra means wheel; and it refers to the spinning sphere of life energy that term represents.

We have six Chakras which are sited along the spine and a seventh which is located above these, floating above the physical aspect of your body.

While we understand these Chakras as energy, you need to understand that these seven Chakras influence your body.

Having your Chakras in the proper alignment will also keep your physical, mental and spiritual health in good condition.

Muladhara

The Muladhara is the Chakra of your lower body. This Chakra is responsible for your survival instinct and other related primal behaviors. Located in the perineum, the Muladhara relates to the potentiality of human life.

This is the Chakra which corresponds to the adrenal glands in the physical body and produces the fight or flight response.

Swadhisthana

The Swadhisthana is the chakra that contains the reproductive parts. The chakra is located in the area known as the sacrum. It relates to emotions such as sexuality and creativity. The chakra corresponds to the sexual organs, and produces the sexual hormones that guide our lives.

This chakra can also be responsible for the mood swings that might dominate lives at one point or another. It is symbolized by a six petal lotus. This chakra is in charge of the moods that you might have and the basic sexual and creative flows that exist in your body.

Manipura

The Manipura is the navel. It is considered to be the solar plexus chakra. This chakra deals with the transitions that are found between base emotions and complex emotions. The chakra itself is in charge of base emotions and complex emotions, and dictates the way that they flow into each other. It deals with the flow of energy, the flow of digestion, and can be compared to the way that the pancreas functions in the body.

The Manipura is important in converting food to energy. Its symbol is a ten petal lotus.

Anahata

The Anahata is the heart. It is related to the complex emotions, such as love and compassion, as well as overall well being and equilibrium. The chakra is related to the thymus, which is located in the chest. It is the equivalent to the immune system in a persons body.

This Chakra is symbolized by a twelve petal lotus

Vishuddha

The Vishudda is the throat. This Chakra is responsible for your faculties of communication. This Chakra corresponds to the thyroid gland in the physical body. This Chakra is symbolized by a sixteen petal lotus.

It also controls your powers of communication and corresponds to the thyroid gland in the physical body.

Ajna

The Anja is your eyebrow or forehead. This Chakra is also known as the third eye. The Ajna comtrols your visualization abilities and is the Chakra which has to do with time, light and awareness.

It is symbolized by a two petal lotus, and is in charge of regulating sleep and awakening. These are very important functions within the body, and therefore this chakra is very important.

Sahasrara

Symbolized by a one thousand petal lotus, the Sahasrara is the seventh and final chakra. It is the chakra of consciousness. It communicates with the rest of the body in the same manner that the pituitary gland does. The Sahsrara is connected to all of the body systems, and is the key player in consciousness. - 30535

About the Author:

The author Jonathan Benjem is one of the team of experts who writes for the popular chakra-balance.com site. To understand how knowledge of the seven chakra can transform your whole life and to get 29 Free chakra balancing meditation and healing Audios visit here.

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Manifesting For Beginners

By Claire Skaysbrook

The old saying is true, life is just what you make it; life is just what you want it to be. We have all heard this saying in one form or another, whether from an encouraging grandparent or while listening to When You Wish upon a Star by Jiminy Cricket.

Somewhere, someone in our lives has told us that it is us, who are the master of our destiny. We are the ones who create our lives. We have it within us to manifest abundance. We are the only person that can manifest an abundant life for our self.

It is time to face the fact that the reason your life is the way that it is, is due to the fact that you want it to be that way. Yes, the unhappy relationship, the dead end job, and the mounting pile of bills you brought all that into your life all by yourself.

You have created the life you life and you need to realize this is true. You need to understand that you have the power to make the changes in your life. You can start right now to manifest an abundant life. You need to change the way you think to make it better.

The most powerful things you have are your thoughts. You create the life you want by the way you think and how you think. All those worrying thoughts of how to pay the bills only creates more bills. When you spend time worrying about money, you only create more money problems for yourself. If you only focus on the bad things in your relationship, you only create more problems within the relationship.

You need to think about all the positive things in your life, since this is the key to manifesting abundance. Focus on the good things you already have. For instance, you woke this morning breathing on your own; you have a roof over your head, clothes on your back and something to eat. Take the time to realize that you are fortunate right now and be grateful for those things. When you are thankful for all those good things, you can more clearly focus on manifesting even more good things into your life.

Do not blame others, since in reality it is the way you think and say is that which creates your current life. You may say that you want happiness, success and wealth; however, you must focus your thoughts and words on being happy, successful and wealthy.

I urge you to try one of these experiments. They are going to show you how simply changing the way you think can change your life. Stop thinking about wanting money, or worrying about how you are going to pay your bills, starting right now. Instead what you need to do is think about how much money you have. You have enough money to pay for everything that you have in your life.

Think about and believe that you have all the money you require, while paying close and conscious attention to your thoughts. This will help them not to slip away from you and make room for your old ways of thinking. Think and believe that you have everything you want in your life at this moment when you want to manifest abundance in your life.

Remember like attracts like. This means in order to draw more good things into your life, you need to focus on the good things you have. It is you who can improve your life, and have the life you want. You are the only one who can manifest abundance in your life right now. - 30535

About the Author:

Claire Skaysbrook is one of the experts who writes for the popular http://www.abundance-info.com website. Discover how easy it really is to be successful at Manifesting when you visit this site. Change your life forever with a huge FREE collection of Manifesting Success Secrets Audios, Ebooks and Videos.

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New Featured Get Your Ex Back Articles

Several new articles today, in the featured article library at HelpGettingBackTogether.com:

• 
  How a rebound relationship can work in your favor
  If you have broken up with the love of your life and she is in a rebound relationship, how do you get her back?


• How to get back together with my ex in 3 steps
  Wondering how to get back together with my ex? What you should actually do at this point is the opposite of what you are feeling.


• Learn how to get her back
  These are just the beginning steps in winning your ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life.


• Things I learned when she dumped me
  Okay, I'll admit, I've been dumped. More than once. More than I'd like to admit, actually. Recently, even.

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Americas Five Founding Fathers Where Great Men and Outlaws! Some Things Dont Change!

By L.J. James

What a crazy world we live in today. Its come to a point where you just dont know what to believe any more. The "news" media has gone from investigative reporting to regurgitating Government and Corporate "News Releases" as actual news.

The thing that I dont understand is, some people actually believe everything they see on TV or read in the paper or on the Internet. You can tell people the Sky is falling but if it wasnt reported on CNN, People will just think your some kind of crazy Chicken Little. Chunks of the sky could be hitting them in the head and they still wouldnt believe it. If CNN reports that the Sky is Falling and states the reason as "human over consumption of oxygen", people start trying to figure out how to stop breathing so they can stop the Sky from falling. It doesnt matter if the real reason is some new Military Toxin.

Lets say there is some national disaster and you say something different from the official Government release on why and how it happened. Now youre some kind of crazy Conspiracy Nut. Again It doesnt matter what kind of proof you have, what kind of scientific evidence you try and present, youre just a nut and no one wants to listen to you. Because We all know the United States Government would never lie to us. Theyd never conspire against the people of this country. Anyone remember The "Gulf of Tonkin" incident? Iran/Contra? Weapons of Mass Destruction?

Were used to hearing about the Government Controlled Media in places like China and Russia, but what of the "News" media in the United States? Just a few months ago our Government was besieged with letters, email, and phone calls by people who were vehemently against the so-called Wall Street Bail-Out. At first the measure failed. CNN broadcast a week of programming designed to "educate" us stupid Americans on the reasons why we needed to pay for this bail-out. The next week it passed.

This is not the "Free Press" our founding fathers envisioned. Our founding fathers envisioned a "Free Press" that would help to keep our Politicians and our Government honest, as a way to speak out against injustices, not an "education" tool.

What has happen to the Spirit of the American people? When did we stop demanding to know the truth about what is going on? When did the Truth get too hard for us to handle? Is it fear? It seems every time someone uses the phrase "National Security", that somehow, we understand thats all we need to know. Is it apathy? What happened to the days of protest, the intolerance of greed and corruption? Throughout History there are examples of great Societies that have fallen, not from outside forces, but from corruption within.

We live in a world of the Future where things that seemed impossible yesterday are common place by tomorrow. For some of us, were too busy trying to make it to tomorrow to worry about what is happening politically in the World. Were too busy working and taking care of our families to seek the truth or get involved with some kind of cause. Many still believe that eventually the Government will take care of us, that despite the loss of our industry, the loss of our jobs, the loss of our freedoms, and the lowering of our standard of living, the Governments still have our best interests at heart.

When we see Governments around the World curtailing our right of assembly, our freedom of speech, do we stand up or do we accept it? Lately, it seems that these political entities have been giving those of us in Motorcycle Clubs a little extra attention. Why is that? Most Motorcycle Clubs are made up of principled, patriotic men who value family, brotherhood and their communities above all else. Many are Veterans of Wars past and present. Why are we viewed as Radicals & Extremists? The Governments of the world have begun pushing hard to break us up, shut us down. As a Biker and a Member of a Motorcycle Club I see many injustices taking place all over the world.

I have seen Motorcycle Clubs names and logos seized in dirty under handed methods. Large Clubs charged with Crimes and their members locked away. Government Agents inserted into clubs for years so that they can introduce drugs and violence into the clubs in an effort to bring them down. Ex Members and "friends" of Motorcycle Clubs offered Millions of Dollars if they can come up with charges against these Motorcycle Clubs!

Just as in any culture or society, there are going to be a few bad apples. The problem is, the Government and the Media have conspired to paint everyone in the Biker World with the same brush. Ill bet it takes you 5 seconds to think of a News Story, Movie, or Documentary that youve seen portraying Bikers negatively, but I bet you cant think of one that shows us feeding the poor, protecting the children, or raising money for every disease known to man.

Watching Motorcycle Clubs slowly being taken down in such blatantly unjust ways is scaring the hell out of me. What makes me sad is at the same time these wolves are getting through the gate and destroying the MC world, Many Motorcycle Clubs continue to fight against each other! These fights are embellished and sensationalized on TV and in the press. They are then used by the Governments of the world as the fuel they need to continue to shut down all Motorcycle Clubs.

Motorcycle Clubs, much like the United States of America, were started with incredible Ideals. Both set down on paper what they were about and what they stood for. It is time for both Motorcycle Clubs and Americans to get back to their core beliefs. I believe with all my Heart that true Members of Motorcycle Clubs hold the ideals of Freedom and Brotherhood higher than any other group anywhere.

As I have said many times before I am no Hippie and I do not preach peace or love, I am a true Biker! It is just that I have realized "Rome is burning" and only by working together can we hope to be able to stop the fire! Motorcycle Clubs are like people and not everyone will always get along, We are always going to have our differences.

What needs to happen now is for members of every Motorcycle Club in the World to look deep inside and ask themselves, "What is the most important thing to me?" If you truly believe in Motorcycle Club Brotherhood, and you have felt true Motorcycle Club Brotherhood, the answer will be simple. We as members of Motorcycle Clubs, need to set aside our differences and unite as one so that we may work together to save the Motorcycle Club world! We must fight against those who would take away everything we are and have us live as slaves.

Next time you hear that a Government or one of its agents has brought down another Brother or a Motorcycle Club you didnt like, dont celebrate, because the next time it will be you and your club. They wont stop until we are all gone.

I am Your Bro, LJ James AmericanBikerX.com - 30535

About the Author:

LJ James does a Radio Motorcycle Show every Wednesday LJ James loves to help show the truth about the Biker life and programs like Sons of Anarchy

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How to kiss your ex girlfriend

This article is going to teach you how to get over your ex girlfriend the "Kiss" way.

1·  Keep yourself busy with social activities! Activities where you will meet people and do things with them!

2·  Be so busy that you hardly have time left for yourself to breathe in-between!

3·  Do some networking. Social networking like Facebook is a good start to do something in meeting people up. From there, please really go out and meet some of these friends that you have in Facebook or whatever social platform you are in! This is really for people who just cannot do anything but still can go to Facebook to play Farmville!

4·  Learn "how to get a girlfriend" tips of getting a beautiful woman and similar stuff. This strategy will pull you away from thinking about your ex quickly!

5·  Get another one! Therefore, when you open up your social network to as many people as you can and start learning ways to get a girlfriend at the same time, you will inevitably get a new girl or woman at that, and because you now have a new treasure to look after, you would have long forgotten about her since!

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